Trying to Forget
by bibleboymary4ever
Summary: Summer had left them. But could she really forget? Maybe, just maybe, she needs them as much as they need her. A SethSummer future fic.
1. Those Freaky Nightmares

**Trying to Forget by bibleboymary4ever aka Joan**

**Disclaimer:** Summer Roberts, Seth Cohen and the rest of The OC characters belong to Fox.

**Summary:** A Seth/Summer future fic. She abandoned them all those years ago, but did she really forget them? Or is she just denying the truth?

**Author's Note:** A huge thanks to my friend and beta,** Summer**, for her help with this story.

Summer quickly power walked down the long hallway, tightly clutching her espresso. She was late for work, again. But she was the boss, and it was not her fault she kept having those freaky nightmares.

  
She stopped at her secretary's desk before entering her office. "Any messages for me, Maria?"

  
The older Hispanic woman looked up. "No, but your stepmother has been on hold for forty-five minutes."

  
Summer bit her tongue. Lissa Roberts was not her favorite person. "What does she want?"

  
Maria shrugged. "Won't say. She claims she must speak to you, and she's been crazily sobbing." 

  
"Ugh." Summer walked into her office, putting down her coat and bag as she picked up the phone. "Lissa?" She asked, pacing around the room.

  
"Oh, darling!" Lissa was obviously upset. Of the four stepmothers Summer had had following her mother's exit, Lissa was undoubtedly the worst. After her anal Mother, they had just seemed to get more and more annoying, with more issues and less sanity.

  
"What is it? I'm running on a tight schedule here, and talking to you isn't part of it."

  
"It's your father, Sum-Sum!" Summer cringed at the awful nickname.

  
"What is it now? Did he have another heart attack?"

  
"Oh sweets, if only!" Her sobs were getting louder, and Summer was getting more impatient.

  
"Just get to the point, Liss."

  
"He, he, he died!" Her sobbing was so loud that Summer had to take the phone away from her ear. 

  
"Oh. Oh my god." She was obviously in shock. Her Dad was perfectly healthy! He still played golf everyday, and had scotch before dinner! All in all, he was basically the same as always, give or take a few grey hairs.  


"You'll have to come out to Newport tonight! The funeral's Thursday, and we have to settle the will." Eek.  


"But I have a meeting with William Averley tomorrow! I can't just cancel." Not that she was particularly thrilled at seeing the stuck-up asshole. But he was their number one financial backer.  


"Of course you can cancel! Besides, the lawyers want to see you asap!" Oh, no. Sandy. Could this get any worse?  


"Can't they just fly someone out to New York?"  


"No. You have to see to his investments, the firm, all of the money, and…" Lissa paused. Whatever this next endowment was, she was not thrilled.  


"What?"  


"The house. He left you the house, the money. Everything. I think he expects you to live in the house." What the fuck? Daddy knew there was no way in hell she'd ever set foot in Newport again.  


"I got the house? But why? I mean, don't you live there?"  


"Not anymore, I guess." Lissa sniffled.  


"Well, what did he leave you?" He couldn't possibly just give Summ everything. He'd been married to Lissa for a year, she at least needed some money. God knows he supported her.  


"Nothing." Huh? Did Daddy finally realize what a bitchy bimbo he had married? "He cut me out last week after I filed, Sum-Sum." Well that explains it. He probably was having an affair with the receptionist or whatever.  


Summer turned on her laptop. There was no getting out of it this time. Oh, well. She had to face him somtime, right? Maybe he died? Or moved to Mars? 'Wishful thinking,' she thought. 'Besides, if he died, I'd get the kid. I guess I have to see them sometime. Might as well be now.' 


	2. Like A Tidal Wave

**Chapter Two: Like a Tidal Wave.  
Disclaimer:** If it was mine, I would not be writing fanfiction.  
**Author's Note:** A huge thanks to my reviewers, it really means a lot, just to know you read it. Also, a hug to Kath cuz bad days are bad.

  
"Hey sweetie," Seth rubbed his tired eyes as he reached for the box of Captain Crunch. "How goes it?" 

  
"Hi Daddy. Aunt Marissa called—can I go shopping with her later?"

  
"Sure, I'll call and confirm."

  
"Thanks! I, like, really want this really cute bag I saw at Neiman last week—it's chocolate brown suede and it's by Chanel, and it's totally practical. Can I borrow the plastic?"

  
Seth stretched his arms over his head, he'd worked later than usual last night. "Give me an example of when you'll use it, and what it matches." Years of living with Summer, and than Erica, had taught him that, although he wanted to, his bank account couldn't afford succumbing to their every whims. It almost scared him sometimes how alike they were, and yet how different.

  
"I was thinking I'd wear it with that pink silk dress Uncle Luke gave me for me birthday? You know, the one from Paris? And I guess I'd use it when we go to the party at Jimmy's restaurant next week?"

  
"How much?"  


Erica bit her lip. "950. But, seriously, Dad, it's completely timeless! I'll carry it foreveeeeeer." She carried out the word for emphasis.  


"Okay, I'll give you the AMEX before you leave." For a ten year old, Erica was awfully taxing. But Seth Cohen was rich, so whatever. After inheriting millions when his grandfather died, he started an amazingly successful software company.   


Sitting down next to his daughter, Seth poured some sugar into his cereal.  


"That's so unhealthy, Dad." Erica whined. "You don't want a heartattack or something, do you?"  


"Eri, I'm only 33. Besides, I've been eating the crunch like this forever. Its good, the milk gets all sugary, and it turns kinda beigey and its just much, much better this way."  


She shrugged. "Don't blame me if you end up in Cardiac Arrest."  


"I won't." He smiled.   


The phone intuerrupted them.  


Seth answered, checking caller ID first, "Hey Riss." He munched on his cereal.  


"Hi Seth! Did Erica tell you I could take her shopping today?"  


"Yeah, she did. It's cool with me, when are you going to take her?"  


"I was thinking ten-ish. Is that okay?"  


"Fine by me. Are you taking the twins, or do you want me to watch them?"  


"Luke's Mom wanted to see them troday. It's so cute, she completely adores them. Besides, they're at that stage where it's impossible to take them anywhere! They're so squirmy."  


"Yeah. Is Luke still in Milan?"  


She sighed, "Yeah, I think he comes back Friday? I'd have to check."  


"Oh, okay, Do you and the crew want to come over for dinner Saturday?"  


"Um. Are you cooking?"  


"Nah, I'll have Nina do it." Nina had been their housekeeper forever. She was a fabulous cook, even by Seth's standards.   


"Sure, that'd be great. I'll come by for Eri in…" She checked her watch. "Twenty minutes?"  


"'kay. I'll tell her. Thanks. Bye."  


"Bye." Seth clicked the OFF button.  


"Marissa's gonna come by in twenty."  


"Okay, I'm gonna go get ready!" Erica got up, and stood by Seth's chair.  


"So why exactly are you standing there? Some weird pre-getting ready thing?"  


"Money."  


"Oh, right. My wallet's on my armoire, just charge it all to the American Express."  


She kissed his cheek. "Thanks Daddy! You're the best. You know, Chelle's Mom wouldn't let her get that Stila makeup kit, and the bag is like ten times the price!"  


Erica ran upstairs.  


Soon after, Marissa drove up the circular driveway in her champagne colored SUV. Erica ran outside as soon as she heard the car. Having never known her real Mom, Marissa was sort of a surrogate for her.  


Seth sipped his coffee in contemplation. Opening the Orange County Register, he scanned the pages, he never really liked reading the news. His eyes rested on a familiar name in a headline.  
**Michael Roberts. Dead at 79.**  


He had liked Seth. Mr Roberts was genuinely happy at the wedding, something he usually was not. Scanning the lists of accomplishments, his eyes went to the last lines. _Mr. Roberts is survived by his daughter, Summer Roberts of New York, New York. The funeral will be held tomorrow at Grace of God Cemetry._  
Seth tried not to think about her. But when something like this hit him like a tidal wave, it was hard not to. He knew Summer would be back. Although he'd dreamed of that moment for ten years, he wasn't quite ready for it to actually happen. 


	3. After all you put me through

**Chapter Three: After all you put me through...**

**Disclaimer** It's not mine. I bow to Fox for owning the OC.

**Author's Note:** This chapter is for **Tally McKee**, **emrie** and the rest of all the talented OC fanfiction writers. I'm reading the majority of the fic here, and loving it all. I especially recommend the stories **The Freshman Woes** and **Chambers of the Sea**.

**Reviews** are greatly appreciated.

Summer stood hesitantly in front of the large front door. 'Oh my god,' she thought, 'maybe he got remarried? Maybe, like, Erica has an evil stepmom who's addicted to Xanax?' 

Summer closed her eyes and took two deep breathes, just like her therapist told her to do. 'Calm down,' she reminded herself. 'It's just Seth.' 

She brought her finger slowly up to the doorbell, and pressed it hard. She bit her lip, hoping Seth was home alone. 

  
Seth had just finished reading through Mr. Robert's obituary when he heard the doorbell ring. Standing up to answer it, he wondered who it could be. Marissa and Erica were out shopping, Luke was in Milan, Dad was at work, Mom was at work... 

He opened the door, not quite prepared for who was behind it. Sure, he had been thinking about her for the last half-hour, but that didn't mean he was ready to face her. 

  
"Seth," Summer said quietly. He looked at her, shocked. 

They stood there in silence for what seemed like hours until Seth grinned at her. Summer instantly knew it was the kind of fake grin he gave when he was pretending to find a joke was funny or when she caught him making out with Anna, that Pittsburgh bitch from high school. 

  
"Well, well, well, if it isn't the one and only Summer Roberts. Welcome to my humble adobe. Please watch your step." He was acting like some deranged talk show host, pretending to actually care who the father of the 9 year old prostitute's baby was. It was okay with her, she didn't think she was quite ready for his real thoughts on her being in his house, the one she had picked out for them to live happily ever after in. Somehow she didn't think it would be like her fantasized version, where he swept her up in his arms and they made love under a waterfall. Summer doubted there were any waterfalls in Newport Beach. 

  
She followed him through the foyer and into the living room, nervously adjusting her purse strap. He stopped, suddenly, and turned around. "Oh, my condolences on your father's death." His words hit her like stone, and realization suddenly set in. Her Father was dead. She would never, ever see him again. He'd never make that stupid joke about rage blackouts, never again tell her they were a result of her not wanting to face reality. But, suddenly, she realized the meaning of that. It wasn't another of his oh so funny jokes. It was true.   


She sat down on the couch, burying her head in a pillow.   


Seth spoke. Not in his psycho Jerry Springer imitation, but in his normal, dorky Jew boy voice. "Su-Summer? Are you okay?"   


She looked up, quickly. Tears were cascading down her face, as was her makeup. "He's dead."   


"Er? Yes. Yes, he is."   


"I'm never going to see him again! Ever!"   


"Well…you'll see him tomorrow? At the thing where he lies out in the coffin?"   


"The wake? But that won't be him. That'll be some dead body in a suit."   


"That'll be your father, Summer. "   


"No! Because my father? He's gone. He's never coming back. I mean, he wasn't exactly my favorite person, but…"   


"He was your father."   


"Yeah."   


"So I guess now you know how I felt."   


"What?!?"   


"Oh, except for the favorite person part," he added hastily. "You were always my favorite person." He put an extra emphasis on favorite.   


"No way. Ryan was always your favorite."   


"Well, yeah, I mean…"   


She rolled her eyes at him. "Cut the crap, Cohen. What's going on?"   


The open front door slammed, and they both stood up in shock. Marissa's voice resounded through the house. "Seth? She forgot her pink purse, do you know where it is?"   


"Oh my god. Are you two…" Summer gestured in her hands.   


Seth didn't get a chance to answer, before Marissa walked into the massive room.   


Her eyes widened, "Summer?!"   


"Yes!" Summer replied excitedly. She rushed over to her and they hugged.   


Pulling away, Marissa held her at arms length. "Oh my god! Oh my god! It's you!"   


"Yeeees. It is her." Seth felt a little left out. Why hadn't Summer hugged him? Must be some girly ritual, like sleepovers.   


Smaller footsteps padded the carpet, as Erica entered the room. "Where's my-" She stopped speaking as her eyes met with Summer's. Erica placed her hands on her hips. "Who are you?"   


Summer bit her lip. That was an answer she wasn't quite sure of. Mother? Ex-wife? Marissa and Seth and Ryan's best friend?   


Marissa noted Seth and Summer's uncomfortableness and chose to answer for them. "Erica, meet your Mom, Summer Roberts." 


	4. As Fast As I Can

**Chapter Four: As Fast as I can**

**Disclaimer:** Not mine! All hail Josh Schwartz and his genius.

**Feedback** is very much appreciated. In fact, I probably wouldn't have continued if I didn't get such a positive response.

_Running away had never solved Summer's problems. Her mother had abandoned them all those years ago, just so she could make out with the pool boy._

_  
Kate had tried to explain it to Summer once or twice. She used to love her Mother, she used to wish that her hair could be as shiny, that she could be as nice…_

_  
But as soon as she walked out that door, it all changed. __She couldn't bear to be in the same room with her anymore. _

_Even though Kate had tried to explain all her different reasons for leaving her family, the only one that made sense to Summer was that she couldn't stand her daughter and husband._

  
She wondered if Erica thought that too. It certainly seemed like it as she ran up her stairs sobbing. Seth quickly followed her, mumbling an excuse. But Summer knew him all too well, and she knew that he was as broken inside as their daughter was. She fought back the tears as she saw how she had hurt them. As much as she had tried to protect them, all she had done was the opposite.

Marissa uncomfortably shifted on the couch. She was genuinely shocked to see her former best friend--or were they still best friends? Marissa wasn't sure how they stood. Afterall, once SethandSummer were supposed to be total soulmates, and now he was just Seth. Alone in the huge house she had insisted they needed. Raising the daughter she went insane shopping for. Doing all the things they had thought Summer would do for their family.

Looking at her, she felt like they were strangers. Coop & Summ used to have sleepovers every Friday night, shopping sprees every Sunday afternoon. Even when they were dating Ryan and Seth, those two were BFFs too, so it was totally logical for the four of them to hang out. Sometimes, Marissa had confided to her shrink that she thought she knew Summer better than she knew herself.

Now she didn't know her at all, and that scared her.

Summer broke the uncomfortable silence, "So what does Erica usually do when she spazzes? Sneak Jessica in her window?"

The last part had meant to break the ice. To bring back happy memories. Their daughters were going to be bestest friends, just like their mothers and fathers. It would all have been perfect.

Of course, this was Newport. The young couples should have realized that nothing was ever perfect.

Marissa wanted to cry. "I miscarried Jessica." 

Summer's hand flew to her mouth. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry, sweetie. I had no idea."

"You have no idea about a lot that has happened." Summer saw Marissa bite her lip, and instantly knew she didn't mean to insult her.

"I deserved that," she sighed. "So what has happened? Did you & Chino have other kids?"

Marissa crossed and uncrossed her legs. She didn't expect so much of a blast from the past. What next? Would Ryan be coming in soon, too? Might as well re-break Marissa & Seth's hearts together. 

"Ryan and I...we never ended up getting married." She flashed her diamond engagement ring, almost out of habit. "That's Mrs. Luke Ward to you."

"Shit. You married...Luke? Why? I thought he moved to Canada or something?"

"No, he was doing some work in Milan. He's managing the business side of Prada. We've been married for six years." She smiled wistfully. "Eri was our flower girl."

"Oh. Okay, so back up. What happened to Ryan?" Summer couldn't believe all that had happened. She couldn't help but wonder what it all would be like if she had never left. Packing her bags, she had never thought of Marissa and Ryan. Only of the hurt she might cause Erica, and if she would break Seth Cohen's heart. Images of Michael and a younger Summer flashed through her mind.

"I miscarried the day after you left. Ryan and I...well, you know how we always fought. I guess it was inevitable." Marissa shrugged, but she didn't seem so sure of herself. 

"Eek. So it was all my fault?!"

"No, it wasn't! God, stop thinking about yourself for five minutes."

Summer was quieter. "I'm sorry. You're right, I'm a selfish bitch."

"I didn't mean it like that! I love you! You're my bestest friend ever!"

"Am I still really? Or have you moved onto like, Holly or some fellow soccer mom?" She felt like she had totally disrupted a long awaited peace.

"Summ! Of course you're my best friend. You've been gone for ten years, and yeah, we had no idea where the hell you were! Did you know Seth hired a private investigator?! We all missed you so much. But you're here now...right?"

She started to cry, and Marissa was shocked. She had never, ever seen Summer Roberts-Cohen cry. It was just something she refused to do in front of other people. Except Seth. But he was the exception to all of Summer's unwritten rules.

Marissa moved closer to Summer, and Summer instinctively placed her head in Marissa's lap. She spoke through her sobs, "I'm such a horrible friend! And...Erica! I'm just like my Mom, and that's exactly what I didn't want to do. But....Seth...."

"Hmm?"

"Has he moved on? I know I've tried, but I feel like I need closure or something."

"Hon, that's what divorce papers are for."

Seth walked in. "Closure?" It was the last thing he expected to come of her visit.


	5. Always Wanting More

**Chapter Five: Always Wanting More**

**Author's Note**: Eeee, I'm so bad at this updating thing. I apologize tremendously! The story will wrap up in the next chapter, which I swear will be up within the week. Maybe faster if I get some reviews.

After her Dad left, Erica remained frozen on her bed. Her face felt tight and dry, the tears now gone. When she was little, she always asked about her Mommy. All of her friends had two parents. Even though she had the coolest Dad, and some would argue Marissa was her mother "figure," Erica always felt like there was a hole in her heart. 

One day, in the first grade, they had a special Mother's Day luncheon. She was completely distraught as to who she should bring. Lily thought she should bring Grandma Kirsten. Katherine thought she should just bring her Dad. After all, Kath was bringing one of her two daddies.

Ever the perfectionist, Erica knew that Grandma Kirsten and Seth were not her mom. A few days before the event, Marissa came over to watch her. It had been her nanny's day off, and Daddy had a meeting.

Erica had shyly shown Marissa the invitation. She asked if Marissa could pretend to be her Mommy. It was the only time she ever saw Marissa cry. She took Erica back to her house, and showed her a picture of when they were teenagers. They must have been at an event of some sort, Marissa and the other girl were all dressed up, and Dad had a tuxedo on. Whomever had their arm around Marissa was quickly torn out before Erica got a chance to peek.

Marissa explained to her that the girl with the shiny brown hair and toothy grin was her mom. She said that her mom and her daddy really loved each other, and that she was the reason her daddy was sad sometimes. She had been Marissa's bestest friend, just like Lily and Katherine were hers. 

That explanation had been more than enough for her a few years ago. But now, Erica was older. She knew that best friends and boyfriends came and went. After all, she hadn't talked to Katherine ever since Lexi told her it was weird to have two daddies.

She wondered if Marissa still considered her mother her best friend, and whether or not her Dad still loved her.

It had taken Seth a long time to get over Summer Roberts. According to his therapist, he would never get over her. It wasn't like he didn't have other options. The man with the biggest house and bank account in Orange County could have any spanish model he wanted.

Except, he didn't want them. Since kindergarten he had only wanted one girl. 

He'd had this recurring nightmare after she'd left. In it, he would walk down a tunnel for hours and hours, calling her name in his sleep. He'd see her at the end, calling him, whining, "Cohen! Where are you?" But he could never reach her. It used to happen once a week or so, but now only once or twice a year. He was glad because even seeing her in his sleep made his heart ache. 

Marissa glance nervously between the two people she considered to be her closest friends. The silence between them was unnerving. The two of them had always talked loudly, always been the ones to embarass her. Sure, they fought, but the verbal sparring matches always ended in a nauseating make-out session. This kind of fighting was different. The last--and only-- time it happened had been at the divorce trial. She had refused to attend, pretending someone should watch Erica, but Seth described it to her later. The shock was evident in his eyes, as he described the way his throat had hurt at the sight of her, and how she had swished her hair away as soon as their eyes met. 

It was although they were back in the third grade, and Summer couldn't be bothered talking to that dork, Shawn Kohn, or whatever the hell his name was. 

Suddenly, Summer spoke, her voice jarring the air. "Yeah, Seth, I was just saying that you know, closure is, like, a good thing to have."  
  
He stayed in the doorway, as if frozen. "That's really interesting, Summer. Because, you see, most people would consider, oh you leaving me with our baby daughter closure? Or maybe that whole divorce thing? Or oh! Maybe how you yelled at me outside the court house? Yeah, that's sorta considered closure in some circles."

  
She rolled her eyes, a familiar feeling passing over her. "I must not have gotten the memo. Did you give it to my lawyer? Because I pay him good money to keep your shit away from me."

  
Marissa twisted her hands in her lap, feeling even more uncomfortable. She didn't feel as if she should be sitting here as they aired out all this dirty laundry, all the things she had tried to shove in the back of her closet.

"Maybe your money's just not good enough for him. Is it Daddy's money? Is that why you came back? So, you could take the millions he left you, and then leave again? Never come back? Leave everyone waiting for you?" Seth was trying to be calm, trying to remind himself how much he loved this women. But with all the love, came hate.

She smiled deviously. "Actually, Dad left me the house! I'm relocating--to Newport Beach." She lowered the sunglasses back over her head and swished out of the room, leaving Marissa and Seth gaping after her, always wanting more.


End file.
